Thursday, July 2, 2015

【英文寫作的樂趣】

27. Fun with English Writing (1)

【英文寫作的樂趣】


《可以輕鬆被看懂的文章,表示作者已下了一番功夫》

Nowadays communication via e-mail is gaining popularity.  In writing e-mail messages, you might use the language you are more acquainted with. As is the case with talking to foreign people, English becomes top priority among foreign languages. Because in writing we don’t have to switch our mentality from English to Chinese. For those familiar with English, especially people whose major was foreign languages and literature find it a more convenient means than those without English major.

目前利用電子郵件通訊逐漸普遍。寫電子郵件時,可以用我們熟悉的語言。如同跟外籍人士說話,在許多外語中英語是首選。因為書寫時我們可以直接用英文觀念,而無須從英文轉成中文。對於熟諳英文者,尤其是主修外國語文者比非外文主修者,發覺英文是更方便的工具。

Usually, in e-mail messages, brevity is a key issue. But no matter how short the messages are, special attention should be paid to the intelligibility, expressiveness and/or fluency. Of course, sometimes Pidgin English, such as “horse horse and tiger tiger” may be used unconsciously in a daily conversation.  Funny as it sounds, more formal usage or standard English is preferable to broken English.

通常寫電子郵件,簡潔十分重要。但不論文句有多短,要特別注意讓人看懂、表達清楚與文句的流利。當然有時洋涇濱英語,如在日常對話中常用的『馬馬虎虎』會脫口而出。聽起來固然好笑,但更正式的用法或標準英語比爛英語好。


The following sentences I came upon are easily found in daily communication in our text or e-mail messages not necessarily used by graduates of English major.  They may be fun and of certain interest to you sometimes.  But at other times, they do sound ambiguous, full of Chinese mentality or vague in meaning.

下列句子是偶然發現的,它們常在日常對話或簡訊中看到,不見得是主修外文者所使用。有時聽起來好玩或感到一點有趣。但有時則聽起來,中文意味太濃,模稜兩可或語意模糊不清。

Naturally, each classmate is quite used to other’s mistakes in English writing.  Especially, at a senile age, we are unwilling to or dare not touch upon such sensitive questions, or even find fault with each other. All classmates are glorified with the honor of Taida, Waisenxi, and their English proficiency has never been doubted by their spouses as well as by their children and/or grand children (with the exception of matrimony of classmates).  However, some English written by them can hardly be worthy of praise. When we were on campus of Taida, there were few professors except Fr. Murphy and Prof. Yu, Ta-Tsai who were “not polite” enough to point out our mistakes in class, embarrassing us to our faces. Of course, I am by no means like ‘either one of them’ nor am I qualified. I am here quite honored to study English with you sincerely.

當然,彼此同學,見怪不怪,尤其活了大把年紀,誰都不願也不敢去觸碰這個問題,或互揭瘡疤。同學們頂著『台大外文系』的光環,她們的英文不但配偶們懼怕三分,兒孫們也敬重有加,(夫妻檔同學例外) 殊不知,有些同學們所寫出來的英文實在不敢恭維。回想在台大期間,我們講的或寫的英文不通時,除了牧育才神父(Fr. Murphy) 和俞大綵教授之外,有幾位敢公然在課堂上糾正、給同學難堪? 當然本人絕非像他們之中任一位,也不夠格如此做。今天僅是很榮幸能真誠地與諸位一同研究英文而已。

Today, please forgive me for being so presumptuous or offensive as to discuss these questions concerning “Everyday English”.

今天本人冒昧地與全體同學共同來研究『日常』英語中的一些問題,倘有失敬或「班門弄斧」之處,尚祈包涵。

Examples frequently found: (下列為遇見之實例:有紅字劃線部分為不適當;本人不敢用更正,而是建議更正(Improvement)


1)     原文: You may want to check with someone who has so kindly took the time to compile a classmates contact list.

*Note: has +p.p. instead of past tense.
【中文】:也許你可以去找看看,有誰願意花時間來編輯同學的連絡名單。
建議更正:  You may want to check if there is anyone who will be so kind as to take the time to compile a contact list for classmates.

2)     原文: It brought back a lot of fond memories. I have to admit I was one of those non-connected classmates back in college years.

Note: bring back memory:不是理想的表達法;non+noun/adj., 但不接 p.p.;例:a non-smoker (非吸煙客) non-refundable 不退錢的;non-responsive不回應的
【中文】:它使我記起許多美好的回憶,本人不得不承認是大學時代失聯的同學之一。
建議更正:  A lot of fond memories came to my mind. (It reminded me of a lot of fond memories). I have to admit back in college years I was one of those non-active classmates. (back in college years調在子句前,更清楚表示修飾was過去的狀態;而非修飾non-active classmates)

3)     原文: Thank you for your efforts in establishing our email network among classmates.  Your efforts and diligence will be greatly rewarded by our warm friendship among classmates.

Note: make an effort to +V. (effort 不加in) efforts to establish; dedication 專心/敬業 (diligence用功); appreciated by our classmates. (reward+with+-獎賞。rewarded by 不可加某件事)

【中文】:謝謝你努力建立同學們之間的電子郵件連絡網。你的努力與敬業會讓熱情的同學們大為讚賞。
建議更正: Thank you for your efforts to establish our e-mail network among classmates.  Your efforts and dedication will be greatly appreciated by our classmates, with affections.
*註:原文第二句太中文化

4)     原文: It has been so many years ago and I can say, that I am glad and grateful to be able to be in contact with you.

Note: ago must agree with past tense (ago 應與過去式連用)
【中文】:已經許多年了,本人高興能與你連絡上
建議更正:  It has been so many years since, and I am glad to be able to be in contact with you again.
註:原文並用gladgrateful太嚕囌,故刪除grateful;另外be grateful to+for+(感謝某人因某事)

5)     原文: Another point, I'm almost computer illiterate, thus, I still dare not join the convenient network you have created.

Note: illiterate adj. 文盲。Another point並不表達英文的「此外」
【中文】:此外,本人幾乎不懂電腦….( 電腦文盲是中文表達法) ,因此仍然不敢加入你創立的網路連絡。
建議更正: Besides, (In addition) I am almost ignorant of computer science. (I know almost nothing about computer science.) (I hardly know anything about computer science.) Therefore, I dare not yet join the network you created.

6)     原文: Compared to you & John, I was not a good student.

Note: Compared to…. 比喻成;Compared with (…. 相比)
【中文】:與John和你相比,我不是一位好學生。
建議更正: Compared (In comparison) with John or you, I was not a good student. I was not so good a student as John or you.

7)     原文: Guess all our classmates are worth getting to know better.

【中文】:我猜同學們值得進一步瞭解。
建議更正: Guess all our classmates are worth knowing better.
It is worthwhile to get to know all other classmates better
註:be worth +Ving含有被動之義

8)     原文: As I attended our reunions, big or small, I enjoyed greatly to reconnect with old friends.
Note: enjoy + Ving, 不可接to+V
【中文】:當我參加大小同學會時,我很高興能與老朋友再相聚。
建議更正As I attended our reunions, big or small, I greatly enjoyed being reconnected to old friends.


Justin Lai  

06/29/2015


No comments:

Post a Comment